How to Deal With Finances and Marriage

According to surveys, money fights and money problems are the number one cause of divorce in North America. Finances is an issue that must be dealt with. However, once it is dealt with, it can be a blessing, not a curse.

	Eliminate the word "I" and "me" and "you" and "your" from your financial discussions. Everything is about "we" and "us". If you have separate bank accounts, combine them. Do not think of debts as belonging to one spouse or another. Money earned from one person's paycheck belongs to both the husband and the wife regardless of who earned it and how hard he/she worked for it.
	Talk about your views on finances with your spouse. Talk about how you were raised and what your parents did that was right and wrong. Talk about your goals and hopes. Understanding where the other spouse is coming from will help a lot!
	Get on a budget. The word budget does not mean "spend no money and enjoy nothing", but rather "have a plan for your money before you get it". A budget simply means you tell your money where to go. Both spouses must be in agreement on the budget and both spouses must contribute to the construction of the budget. (That is, no rubber-stamping!)
	Recognize, accept and love the strength and weakness of your spouse and yourself. Since opposites attract, many marriages will have someone who prefers to spend and the other who wants to save. If you are the saver, remember that money is partially there to be enjoyed. If you are the spender, remember that you have to plan for tomorrow as well! If you get on a budget, you can designate the amount of money to be spent and the amount to be saved. Remember to include a certain amount each month for both spouses to spend however he or she pleases ("waste", "blow" or "spend unwisely").
	Eliminate debt. Debt causes all kinds of stress and is a bad financial plan. List your debts smallest to largest payoff balance and pay minimum payments on all debts but the smallest debt, and attack the smallest until it disappears. Continue until all debts are gone.
	Create an emergency fund. You don't want a crisis situation to cause financial stress in addition to the other stress it may cause.

• Be supportive and understanding in times of crises. Don't let one problem create another.
• Talk about finances with your spouse. Really, talking helps.
• Consider a financial course such as Financial Peace University.